leap day

For those of you reading the bible in a year -- today is a FREE day -- no reading for the 29th. But if your like me you didn't really look at the date -- you just read what was next -- hmmmm - I realized it when I was done -- oh well I am a day ahead.

life

Have you ever wondered what the number of your days is? I just have always assumed I would be around until I was old and grey. Then about 7 years ago my mom passed away suddenly. I had a 6 month old baby and really struggled with the realization that either he was going to experience what I was currently -- going through the pain of losing his mom -- or I was going to go through the pain of losing him. Yuck -- what awful thoughts to have running through your head.

They went away with time and come back now and then. Now I am faced with losing my dad -- the only way I can explain it is that I feel like I am floating -- I will have lost the generation above me -- I will lose the strength in our family - the person that ties us together -- we still vacation as a family once a year because of him -- not because we are all best friends. We remain civil with one another because of him. All I can say is that in the end I want to remember that I honored and respected him. That is what the bible commands me to do and that has been my focus for these past few weeks -- with every conversation I have with him or one of my sisters or brother.

It is easy to wonder whether it is or was my job to teach my dad about Jesus. While down in Texas over the weekend I had the privilege of sitting with my dad and saying goodbye. He shared numerous things at that time and one was -- "you and Don have tried to live a good christian life and I admire you for that" I think my dad has learned a lot about Jesus from watching my family and for that I am truly thankful.

My prayer is that I will not judge a person's life by what I see or don't see or by what I hear or don't hear -- I will love them and trust that God is working on their heart - a huge responsibility that I can not bear alone.

rain, rein, reign

Over and over again for the past few weeks these 3 little words keep coming back to me.

God rains down on me whenever I let him. He is there, full and overflowing ready to tip the bucket and pour his love out onto me -- am I going to soak it up or is it going to run right off ?

Am I going to give God the reins to my life? Will I let him steer me where he wants me to go? He knows the path that is ahead of me - the one I have never seen before. Will I listen when he nudges me right, when he tells me to jump, when he pulls me to a stop? Oh how I long to be that obedient!

He reigns! He is the King of Kings the Lord of Lords! He is the ruler - the loving, caring, compassionate One!


3 words with so much packed into them. Can I get it or is this a lesson that will be repeated over and over in my life in a painstakingly repetative manner so that I have the opportunity to own it?

generational stuff

So yesterday Exodus 34:7 got me thinking again - what's new?! I remember first reading this passage at my thursday bible study MOTTTS about 4 years ago and it really got to me. Here is the verse:

I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations.

I forgive iniquity, rebellion and sin.

But I do not excuse the guilty.

I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren;

the entire family is affected -

even children in the third and fourth generations.

Here's what went through my head that I will share with you - mostly questions not answers :)

• how many years is a generation? we aren't even a thousand generations from jesus's birth are we?
• thank goodness he forgives rebellion and sin - will I recognize all my sin and have the strength to confess it?
• what am I reaping leftover from my parents, grandparents, great grandparents, and great great grandparents?
• what can I change in this generation in order to break that generational sin pattern or cycle?
• what about my husband's parents, grandparents, etc.
• can we recognize all this -- get it out into the light - talk about it and go a different direction?
• do I realize the responsibility I have? -- what I choose to sow my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchilren will reap! That's probably 200 years from now by the time my great great grandchildren are fully grown.

What are your thoughts? Do you care to share?

God of details

Reading Exodus over the past days has been incredibly challenging because of the amount of details it contains. At first I felt like I was getting lost -- all the measurements, the colors of the threads, the type of fabric, a description of the spices and on and on and on.... Then, it came to me -- He is a God of the details -- a God of the little things -- ALL things are important to him. So instead of getting lost I became comforted - he loves me and cares about all the details of my life--he wants me to see him -- not just in the big things but in the small too - he wants me to pray and take my cares to him -- not just my big ones but my small ones too -- he already knows what they are though by bringing them to him he knows that I know "who he is" the God of ALL things!

old age

Last night while dropping my daugher off at her "slide" for children's ministry a little girl said "she needs someone with her" I said "I know I am right here and I am her mommy" and this little girl of 4 said "oh I thought you were her grandma" Her mom who was standing about 2 feet away watching the exchange replied "oh my I think she is just being silly" You know what - though it is the last thing I needed when I already struggle with feeling old all I could think at the time was - this'll make a great blog :(

first impressions

WOW - yea that's what I said - WOW! I just finished another book -- FIRST IMPRESSIONS - creating wow experiences in your church - by Mark L. Waltz. All I can say is WOW. It is such a thorough book and covers so many areas of guest services. I figured since I started serving in December as a check in facilitator this book would be a way for me to personally connect with the vision of Granger and personally align with how they approach things.

I have had the opportunity to be a "guest" at Granger a few times before becoming a member. The first time was a few years ago -- maybe 4 -- before they completed the current auditorium. Since we had never been before and had a child with food allergies I believe I called first to get some information. I remember feeling comfortable and decided it would work. We met a handful of others and proceeded to put our children into their rooms downstairs. We happen to be there on a night that most women were gone and men were staffing the rooms -- we filled out our sons name tag and asked about snacks, explaining he had severe food allergies - they said yes they were having pretzels - I asked if I could look at the bag they said sure - they brought the bag which was clear plastic and I said is it okay if you feed him this small bag of pretzels we brought instead since there is no label on the bag -- he said sure.

Now this exchange sounds simple enough however I was flabbergasted - all they were concerned with was me and my child -- was I comfortable and was he - I never felt like I was a bother they were genuine and kind - it struck a chord in me and I have never forgot it!

Move forward to April of 2007 - My family decided to visit Granger again. Our sister in law and niece attended and so did another niece and her husband. We also had recently built a house and our builder and his wife had been attending Granger for a few years. So we drive up and realize how much it had changed. We navigate our way around and get our children into their rooms - then sit down for the service. If it were possible I would say we were blown out of our seats. We felt connected. So over the next few weeks we attended off and on - while continuing to remain at our "home" church. I remember saying more than once -- wow everyone is so friendly - you can tell they are serving according to their gifts! When wondering about my son's allergies again - they directed us to the guest service kiosk and connected us with the director of childrens ministry who had us fill out a card so that his tag would be printed with his allergy info -- it was about us and how to make us comfortable. Then one time I dropped off my clingy, crying daughter and the teacher said -- are you okay - are you comfortable -- It was about me - the guest-- she wanted me to get to the service!

As a guest I experienced what they had to offer on the deepest level - I felt needed and cared for - I felt like I mattered! Who would have known that fast forward and this would be where we call home! I had the opportunity to "experience Granger" and know that I matter to them. Now I have the ability to offer this to new "guests" to show them they matter to Granger and they matter to God!

Mark describes in his book the details and the thought process that surround the First Impressions team. By reading this book, I was able to solidify my "feelings" from being a "guest" into my desires and responsibilities of being a member. It feels great to take my next step towards Christ!

contentment

So I posted a few days ago what my daughter said in the bath tub -- then yesterday my entire MOTTTS (moms of tots to teens) bible study was about contentment. Have you ever noticed that when God wants to get your attention it comes at you over and over again in a short period of time in many different ways? Well God has my attention -- my husband posted about this on his blog (january -2muchstuff-1) -- so between my husband and I, my daughter and my bible study God is making it known this is an area that needs attention.

Have you ever thought - am I content? If I am not why not? If it has anything to do with stuff and circumstances then we don't understand what being content means! I believe the world contributes to our struggles with this -- if we continue to look around us we will always find things look better somewhere else -- however if we can look up then we will see that right here is where we are supposed to be and God is continually blessing us -- whether big or small - we just need to look!

What can I do to help with being content? here are some ideas that I have thought of or heard from others over the last few weeks:

• cancel catalogs - are they really necessary - do they leave me wanting?
• stop excess magazine subscriptions that fuel the "i need to be like that mentality"
• go to the store when you need something - not just to look around
• internet shopping can be addictive -- wow free shipping I have to buy something
• make a list of your blessings
• work at discerning wants from needs -- tough, tough, tough
• spend time thanking God for all you have (not just tangible things)
• get out and help others and get your mind off yourself
• stop complaining to others -- this feeds discontent
• choose to seek counsel instead of airing a complaint - change the way you phrase it!
• choose what you are going to confess with your mouth - don't lie and say everything is great - but think before you speak

SO for me it is time to ask God to provide me with a new perspective and hold me accountable to the things he has shown me lately! and thank goodness for my trusted friends to speak truth into my life - you know who you are:)