time lapse

Ok so its been more than 2 weeks since my last post and really I have about 5 posts rolling around in my head. On everything from fear to failure, parenting, marriage, family etc. but they are still just that - rolling around - I just can't seem to get the words out of my head and onto the page. My husband and I have even talked about a few of the topics together. Lately it just seems like so much is going on such as:

• church - including serving for both me and my husband


• school for both kiddos now - which includes homework and packing lunches


• bible studies - Further Up Further In (mishawaka) and MOTTTS about to start in Waky


• gathering clothes for the RESALE


• Don's BDAY


• both kids birthdays in the next 2 weeks


• my once a month part time job - cleaning my sis in laws house


• my once a week part time job helping out Goshen's marching band


• and all the normal everday stuff there is to do that is neverending (see this post)

So I will let the stuff roll around a few more days and maybe it will make it to the screen!!

little minds

You know the verse about train up a child in the way they should go - according to their bent!

Well even though my parents went to church I don't think they knew this verse or spent much time on the according to their bent part. Not in a bad way - I just think their generation of parents functioned by spending quality time with their kids - not trying to figure them out!

Why all this you say? Well I happen to have a very interesting young boy whose bent is different than anyone in the family - he is, I believe asbstract sequential. This means he is very creative - capable of inventing amazing things with recycled goods, always has a project going in his head and would like to always have one going in the house, he designs things, his brain is always going, how does that work?, why?, I think.....

However, he also thrives on structure - doing things in a natural order and always doing it that way - this is tough for me in someways - I am structured too but not to the extent he is - if we are inconsistent he picks up on it right away - it is hard for him.

He is at his best when:

• there is freedom in the house for him to follow through with the latest idea for the project in his head - this may mean the machine he invented at a camp this summer, a the parachute he made for himself, or a recycled 3 foot snow globe in the kitchen powered by a small fan - yes, really, look at the pictures

• there is still a common structure in the home - breakfast at 7 lunch at 1130 dad home by 330 dinner around 530 and in bed by 8 at the latest



• you are available to help him at any moment with his idea - they are so big in his head yet he is not yet capable of carrying them out alone - grandma is great at this!



• the input going in his head causes him to grow - enjoys watching the news, having me read the newspaper, watching old NASA dvds, etc.



• no one - especially his sister - bothers him



• there is an organized (by his standards) mess in his room - not chaos though



• he is allowed to keep EVERYTING - every scrap of paper, miscellaneous screw, wood, egg carton, etc. they all have a project waiting

You might be thinking hmmmm or wow or even Oh my goodness!

His "bent" is so complicated I have trouble parenting it successfully. I am caught in a battle between who he is and what he "needs" to be according to the world, his school and our family.

I honestly have come to the point that most, if not all, of our struggles with him have to do with not understanding his bent. The quickest label would be strong willed - but that would not do him justice - it has something to do with his way of thinking and he does not understand at 7 1/2 that we all don't think that way - how come we don't get it - what's so tough about it.

I believe there are great things in his future - I believe God has a plan for him - I also believe I can sidetrack that plan by squelching his continued processing and designing because it does not "fit" or looks out of place in this "world"

He is very fragile emotionally - he is 7 - but his vocabulary is crazy - so he makes you think he has it all together with his words - but on the inside he is melting down. My husband has been slowly discovering the inner workings of Noah's emotions after many difficult melt downs. He is awesome at "debreifing" and getting to the root.

All this is to say that "little minds" are way more complicated than we think and what we see and hear are not always a fair way to judge who they are - no matter how they think they still are only as old as they are - in this case 7!!

Lord please help do what you want me to do - help me rely on you and your wisdom about the little boy you designed to be Noah, help me to follow whatever you lay on my heart and not dismiss it because it doesn't line up with other parents or society - continue to give me insight into his bent so I can parent him in your way! In Jesus Name AMEN!!!

words

Our church is going through a lot of change - one of the slogans happens to be "change is good" another one is "count me in". This all comes on the heels of the REVEAL survey results. This morning at breakfast we were talking about the New Community move from Thursday night to Wednesday night and how it would impact our family. While we were talking my daughter Nina said yes change is good! I asked where she heard that because I could not believe it. Her reply - Adventures in Odyssey - too cute.

This may seem like only words from a 5 year old - but actually they are quite profound - in the past year we made a major change in our church home and though it was hard both kids got on board and understood we were following God - a change that he had in mind for us. We talk a lot as a family and we explained why GCC was making changes -- to grow people and help us get closer to Christ - they get it!

Sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough to raise up Christ Followers and then I need to remember they are the generation of change - I did not follow Christ until I was 30 - this is all they know and when they get married and have kids THIS will be their starting point.

At this stage I need all the help I can get - from God, my husband, the church and our community. I need to be grateful and thankful for the life that God has given me, for my godly husband, for an awesome church that provides excellent opportunities that challenge me, that we live in a community that following Christ is more common than NOT!

Ephesians 3:20

summer

It is almost over! Well I know not technically but at least in the terms of school vacation it is. I love my kids and so far God has not asked me to homeschool so..... I am excited that school starts in 2 weeks -- not really that they will be gone during the day - or half day for kindergarten. But that they will have something that is theirs individually again. A sense of indivuality that comes with school and a sense of structure that they need.

I personally feel that summer vacation is too long for my kids - they would do better with a lot more breaks during the school year -- like 9 weeks on 3 weeks off or something. Not only would they probably retain more but they would enjoy the 3 weeks and then go back before they got to the point of being crabby and irritating to each other!!!

I know as a mom I should savor this time -- it is going fast and I am sure that each summer will fly by and before I know it we will be at high school graduation.

However I do desire a time that has more sanity and less chaos. My husband asked me a question the other day - what if that never comes and this is not a phase but the family we were given?

My answer was way less than spiritual and not at all like the godly woman I want to be!!!!!!!

arrrggghhhhh.

semantics

I heard something a couple of weeks ago that has been rattling around in my head and heart ever since. Then tonite at the 5:30 service at GCC I heard it again.

Did you accept Jesus into YOUR life?

or

Did you give your life to JESUS?

When you hear these two questions do you immediately notice the difference or is it something you need to think about? I was amazed at what went on in me when I heard this. I will forever change my language and thinking about this.

I want to know that I know that I know that I have given MY LIFE to Christ - that God can use me for what he wants and needs when he wants and needs -- not that I only ask him for help when I need it and when it is convienent to me.

Any thoughts??

ch...ch...ch...changes

How do you respond to change? Do you love it or loathe it? For me it depends on what it is and when -- sound familiar?

All it takes for me to be okay with change is for me to be prepared - I like to wrap my mind around it, chew on it for awhile, see how it will impact my family, and in the end understand it. I know this is not possible in all cases of change but in some it is.

For instance there are many things that I do not make quick decisions about such as:

• buying a dog
• getting a job
• spending large amounts of money

It seems to me that I take my time with things that will have a major impact on my family - whether that be positive or negative. I want to see how to make it work, and understand it. Let's walk through how we finally made the decision to get a dog so you can see inside this process for our family.

When Don and I were dating we thought greyhounds were neat animals and talked about having one someday (realize I have never been a dog lover or owner). When we got married we talked about them some more and then got pregnant and realize they want you to wait until your kids are 4 or so. So every year we looked at them in the Maple Syrup Festival Parade and checked them out. Then our son became allergic to dogs so we put it on the back burner. Then he tested negative last October and he was 7 and Nina 5. We went to a Meet and Greet for greyhounds in April and Nina was not afraid at all and Noah was in love - he stayed for an hour and did not want to leave. We started researching greyhounds. Three books and numerous websites later we felt like a greyhound was the dog for us. We went to another Meet and Greet and turned in an application. We installed a fence. We had a home visit with the All Star Greyhound Adoption Agency and as of Friday July 11th we are the proud owners of Silvester. I would say this process took us (or me)about 6 months - Don and the kids would have brought one home from the meet and greet - not me I needed to know these things:

• where is it going to sleep
• what does it eat
• what do I do when I am out during the day
• who is going to clean up the poop in the yard - I can't stand poop in peoples yards!!!
• how are the kids going to manage
• what about it's dirty feet on the carpet
• will there be hair everywhere
• can I handle the responsibility
• do I want to handle the responsibility
• is it wise to spend money on a fence
• is it wise to spend money on dog food
• can the kids be alone with the dog
• how is he going to handle the stairs
• what about the vet
• dog treats for his teeth are 2$ a day??????

That is just a partial list of the thoughts that have been processed in my head and out loud over the past few days, weeks and months. But once I get a grasp I am all for it -- and in me it is like a light switch being flipped i go from being "off" for a long time while I research and analyze to what seems like all of a sudden "on" - ready to go get a dog! For some people I am hard to understand because when I am ready and say okay - they then question it -- why now - I thought you didn't want one - how come the change, etc.... they just did not see the process!

Now all this to say the idea of getting a dog is now a reality and the kids are doing ok - there are battles that need to be fought and sometimes I just don't want to - everybody is trying to find where they fit again. Don is the dog's best friend - his leader no doubt - Noah wants that role - Nina just loves him - I have no idea what I am doing and Don is patient and Noah is NOT - he is telling me everything I am doing is wrong and ordering me around - he has become a dog expert overnight - it has not been fun!

So I like the dog - just not really into transitions :(

So what about when God wants to change things in me or around me? Well he knows my personality doesn't he -I feel like he provides me with opportunities to see that it is him orchestrating the change so that I will go through the analysis at lightening speed.

I am so thankful that my God made me and knows me!

popbeads or pearls??

Do I dream big? Do I pray big? What if God said he would answer all my prayers of today? Would my answered prayers change lives or just circumstances? Am I praying for God's kingdom to come here on this earth? Do I trust that God has way more in store for me than what I am experiencing right now? Have I accepted Christ into my life or have I given my life to Christ? Do I have a biblical world view? Do I believe that I am saved by grace? Do I know that I know that I know that Jesus is the only way to heaven? Do I know what spiritual disciplines are? Do I practice them? Do I trust the leadership God has placed over me? Do I trust them enough to give up what I have and like to experience what they are about to offer? Can I be sold out for change and embrace where we are going? Can I be passionate about it?

YOU BET!

The questions above just represent a small, minute amount of things that are flying around in my head since I got home from New Community - the Thursday night service at GCC. If you are interested in hearing the message that led to all this and have a better understanding of the title -- popbeads or pearls -- I will put a link HERE as soon as it is available.