neverending

First of all I am thankful that God is helping me to grow into more of a people person - however as a list maker and task oriented person there are a few aspects of motherhood that I wish someone would have let me in on.

I love to make a list because I love the feeling when I complete a job, it is freeing. Most times after I complete a job I want to take a break, you know stop working, hang out, relax kind of as a "reward". Have you ever noticed that this kind of attitude can really back fire in motherhood?

Here are a few examples of things that can never really be crossed off the list:

• washing windows
• doctor appts
• dentist appts
• getting car serviced
• mowing the lawn
• laundry
• dishes
• grocery shopping
• paying bills
• dusting
• vacuuming
• helping with homework
• baths/showers
• brushing teeth
• making meals
• packing school lunches
• painting fingernails or toenails
• napping
• reorganizing closets
• decluttering kid's bedrooms
• maintaining garages
• working on lanscaping
• blogging :)
• checking email
• returning phone calls

Some of these items are done 3 times a day, some daily, weekly, monthly, twice a year or even yearly. BUT they are never really done -- they need to be done again.....

My understanding of done is done - finished - over - complete.

There never really is time to take that break - oh yea I take lots of them - like right now as I blog even though there is "stuff to do". I take physical breaks often and almost always get a good, long nights sleep! I need to learn to stop taking giant mental breaks - that's when I get defeated. I clean the entire house top to bottom and it looks great - then I go on a mental break - thinking it is "done" my definition of done -- so for the next 2 weeks I don't do much in the cleaning area 'cuz I checked it off my to do list. Then I get defeated because there is a big pile of clutter that I didn't maintain - mine, the kids and my husbands.

Here's the kicker - my kids don't care and neither does my husband -- they function the same with or without clutter. NOT ME I become someone I don't like - forgetful, late, disorganized and stressed.

My lesson - there are things that I can't ever cross off my to do list and that has to be ok - I found one really important thing I will never be able to cross off - and it is okay - reading the bible. Isn't it amazing? We will never be "done" reading the bible. I started the read through the bible in a year and I am hooked - seriously - I don't think I want to ever cross it off my list - even at the end of this year - I will just start again!

God please help me realize that my life is not about my to do list - it is about your people - and I want to show people who you are through what you have done in my life and in the lives of those around me. Please grow me into the people person you want me to be.