truth in love

This is such a tough thing to understand - sometimes in my life I have wondered what is the difference between truth in love and ....... well I don't know what to call the other side of it - you know when someone one comes down on you for something you do and/or say and you walk away feeling angry, humiliated and/or rejected.

Lately God has been showing me the difference - at least in my life - and that is relationships! I have been learning a lot how God has wired me and I think wired us all. That we must first be in a relationship with someone in order to trust what they have to share with us. When we have built that relationship with them - we know their relationship with Jesus and so we know that they love us and must feel prompted by God to talk with us about something.

I learned very early in my walk with God that offense is a choice - one that satan wants me to make - and I refuse - I am not going to get offended by a person, their words or their actions. I know that my battle is not against flesh and blood.

Just a side note to say -- this is why church has people in all places on the journey - we don't automatically have our entire mind and behaviors renewed the minute we accept Jesus - it is a constant process - a long road - that we move toward the path Jesus wants us on. Are we going to fall???? YES!!! But I heard a phrase Thurday night during the message that I want to grasp onto -- I want to "fall forward" so it easier to get up and finish the race. I think this will happen if I am continually leaning in - leaning in to Jesus - leaning in to God's word..........

Okay to get back on track - at bible study on Thursday (MOTTTS) we were discussing children's literature. I am amazed at how God reveals things to me on each step of my journey - there are books out there that I will just not read to my kids. I would have 5 years ago but as I grow closer to Him -- He has given me a better ability to see the lies in some books and my kids know that we will just put them down and not finish them. They are learning that if God prompts me that a book is not right for my family and I am not obedient then it is a sin. I am trying to teach them that it is about my response to what I feel God is asking of me. They also know that it is about our family and not about someone elses family and whether they choose to read those same books! In any large group of people you will have some at the beginning of their journey and some miles down the road - and this does not always correlate to how long they have known Jesus. So I am trying to learn the art of developing relationships first and not always jumping right in with my convictions - of course unless God prompts me too :)

All this to say - my prayer is simply this: God, please help me to choose my words wisely and know that when I have a relationship with someone and they have a relationship with you -- you have given them the ability to accept the truth in love -- however help me to remember that it is your job to convict people and it is my job to love them like you do!

5.4 at 5:39

Ok well I just started reading a book called Seismic Shifts - it is about the little things that have huge impacts - makes sense so far. Then last night at GCC - Granger Community Church - I heard Pastor Tim Stevens speak about his new book Pop Goes the Church and he told a story about something that happened back in Iowa in 1981 - an old bunker filled with dynamite in the town blew up and literally knocked him off his feet in his living room.

All this to say at 5:39 am this morning I was totally freaked out - I was sound asleep and the bed started shaking - like from the foot of it to the head of it - almost made me sick to my stomach - as I woke up I thought maybe my husband had not left for work yet and walked by and bumped the bed so I sat up and said Is that you? -- no answer. I looked outside to see if it could have been rumblings of thunder - No - then I remember hearing the TV in the armoire move - you gotta know it is a teeny weeny 13 inch TV on a step stool in the armoire just so we can see it over our feet when we are lying in bed :) So of course now I am thinking - is there someone in my room - are they trying to steal my TV???

I decide to be tough and brave and turn on the TV - no rain - no storms no nothin' - Too freaked to go back to sleep I just lay there watching the news - Then they finally say there is breaking news - a 5.4 earthquake in Southern Illinois just occurred -- Great my first earthquake - well at least now I know I am not crazy - so I call my husband who is driving to work.

He did not feel anything but after he hangs up he texted me to say - he was listening to the bible on tape and Jesus just said there will be earthquakes in diverse places .

Isn't our God amazing????

neverending or work in progress?

So I ended up using my previous blog entitled "neverending" as a stepping stone for the opening at the bible study I go to (MOTTTS) and boy did God do some work in me - with my husband's help to change my perspective.

I came to realize there are things in my life that are cyclical - like the seasons - always coming around again and again - and there are things in my life that are a work in progress (WIP). I, as a task oriented person, have a huge tendency to focus on the cyclical things - or my to do list - and forget about the things that are wip's.

Through Phil 1:6 :

• being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (NIV)

• There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. (THE MESSAGE)

• And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again. (NLT)

I came to realize that thank goodness God does not have a daily to do list with our names on it with the expectation that once he works on us he is done - where he crosses us off and goes on to the next day's list with new names.

Of course there are things in my relationship with Jesus that are cyclical - those nasty sin patterns that rear their ugly heads - and then there are things that are wip's like my marriage, my family, parenting and becoming a godly women. These are areas that God is growing me each and every day - slowly and he will not be finished with me until the day Jesus comes back or the day I met him in heaven.

So this isn't about what I do each day - it is about all those things that will take place between now and heaven!

I need to have a kingdom perspective instead of a to do list perspective - not what can I cross off today? - more like how can I grow today?

I'm in

More later - but I am in for the 21 day no more complaining challenge!

neverending

First of all I am thankful that God is helping me to grow into more of a people person - however as a list maker and task oriented person there are a few aspects of motherhood that I wish someone would have let me in on.

I love to make a list because I love the feeling when I complete a job, it is freeing. Most times after I complete a job I want to take a break, you know stop working, hang out, relax kind of as a "reward". Have you ever noticed that this kind of attitude can really back fire in motherhood?

Here are a few examples of things that can never really be crossed off the list:

• washing windows
• doctor appts
• dentist appts
• getting car serviced
• mowing the lawn
• laundry
• dishes
• grocery shopping
• paying bills
• dusting
• vacuuming
• helping with homework
• baths/showers
• brushing teeth
• making meals
• packing school lunches
• painting fingernails or toenails
• napping
• reorganizing closets
• decluttering kid's bedrooms
• maintaining garages
• working on lanscaping
• blogging :)
• checking email
• returning phone calls

Some of these items are done 3 times a day, some daily, weekly, monthly, twice a year or even yearly. BUT they are never really done -- they need to be done again.....

My understanding of done is done - finished - over - complete.

There never really is time to take that break - oh yea I take lots of them - like right now as I blog even though there is "stuff to do". I take physical breaks often and almost always get a good, long nights sleep! I need to learn to stop taking giant mental breaks - that's when I get defeated. I clean the entire house top to bottom and it looks great - then I go on a mental break - thinking it is "done" my definition of done -- so for the next 2 weeks I don't do much in the cleaning area 'cuz I checked it off my to do list. Then I get defeated because there is a big pile of clutter that I didn't maintain - mine, the kids and my husbands.

Here's the kicker - my kids don't care and neither does my husband -- they function the same with or without clutter. NOT ME I become someone I don't like - forgetful, late, disorganized and stressed.

My lesson - there are things that I can't ever cross off my to do list and that has to be ok - I found one really important thing I will never be able to cross off - and it is okay - reading the bible. Isn't it amazing? We will never be "done" reading the bible. I started the read through the bible in a year and I am hooked - seriously - I don't think I want to ever cross it off my list - even at the end of this year - I will just start again!

God please help me realize that my life is not about my to do list - it is about your people - and I want to show people who you are through what you have done in my life and in the lives of those around me. Please grow me into the people person you want me to be.