the last lecture

I just finished reading The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. I picked it up about 3 weeks ago and thought it might be a good read. I started it yesterday morning and just finished it. That is the judge to me on a good read - how quickly I finish it is directly equated to the fact that I couldn't put it down.

Now this is not intended to be a deep discussion on whether or not he knows Jesus. What I learned about Randy and his fight with cancer through this book is that he is a man of integrity. He is a husband who wants to take care of his wife - he is a father who wants to take care of his 3 small children and he is a teacher who wants to leave a legacy for his students.

Some of you know I just lost my dad to cancer about 2 months ago so some of this book was sort of a tough read from that perspective. But I think it was tough more so as a wife and mom of young kids. I laughed and I cried! I feel as though I will look at life a little different now -- not anything major - just small things - day to day things.

In this book Randy talked about the things he cherished about his mom and dad - the things they gave him - character traits, etc. I want my kids to look back at their childhood and remember it fondly!

Here are a few things I got from my mom and dad.

My mom was at the kitchen table everyday when I came home from school with a cup of coffee and a book. This has shaped my love for reading as well as my desire to be a stay at home mom. My mom had an open door policy - you could tell her anything -- and she would not rush out and try to fix it. My mom picked up 5 kids without complaint and moved as my dad's job required because she knew it was his way of providing for the family. My mom was a submissive wife even though she never knew that term. My mom loved my dad with all her heart and soul.

My dad had an awesome work ethic - he spent more than 35 years of his life working for Tandy Corporation so that he could provide for his wife and 5 kids. This meant moving every three years or so but to him it was a small sacrifice. He was home for dinner nearly every night. He spent almost all of his non working time with his family. He was always on time. He spoke with authority about anything and everything - a trait he passed down to me and on to my son:) He followed me around the country when I marched in Drum Corps because he love it and he loved me too! He remained strong until the very end. My dad loved my mom with all his heart and soul.

There is so much more but this what came to mind.

I want my kids to develop a love for Jesus like no other - I want them to see God comes first then their spouse and then their kids. I want them to see and know how much I love their dad! I want them to know what a great marriage looks like! I want them to want to get into the bible everyday! I want them to love to learn and read! I want them to find an amazing church where God's work is evident and far reaching. I want them to remain connected as brother and sister long into adulthood.

I could go on and on and on and on....those of you that really know me know that is true:)

I guess what it all boils down to is this: I could continue on in life as a task oriented person like I spent the first 35 years of my life or I can continue on in life developing the emotional, sensitive and people oriented person that God has been showing me the last 6 years or so.

I had someone say to me once - do you always cry like this? and my response was "No only when I see God moving" I have been brought to tears more in the last year than I thought possible. God is moving and he is moving big.

Does it matter to me whether Randy Pausch knows God - well no and yes. It wouldn't stop me from reading the book if he didn't (that is God working in me) but I would love for him and his family to know the love of Jesus and know that he can live forever in heaven and see them again someday!

I have no idea how people who aren't in a relationship with Jesus understand or cope with death. If it were not for my relationship with him I would be floundering from the effects of the death of my mom 7 years ago and my dad recently.

Thank you Jesus for saving me!